We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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