if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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