those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
