you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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