Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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