Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
