I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
