It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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