I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
