Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dicks are not precious.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
