What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
