I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
