Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize