ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
