mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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