He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize