you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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