you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
