my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
