My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
