i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
