she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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