omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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