I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
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Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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