Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
