I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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