it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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