i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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