So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Randomize
