i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
