Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize