It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
