Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
