I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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