I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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