he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
