Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
