NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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