dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
