Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
