Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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