At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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