god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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