I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
