True but thats because hes a fetus.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Someone came in the potted fern
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
