Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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