Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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