i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
