why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
