"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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