operation harelip BJ is a go
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I need moral support for this bender
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
