If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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