WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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