Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
