areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We left an ass print on the piano.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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