Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
