3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize