how can u be prego again
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
