my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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