I must be too annoying 4 u.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
