Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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