pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
