Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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