Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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