I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
